Every year, I have hundreds of students who don’t even try to annoy me. I’m not sure if they are lazy or if their guidance counselors just didn’t believe in them enough. They come to class prepared, are respectful, and participate enthusiastically in discussions, games, and activities. Maybe it’s not their fault—a sign of the times. But there are a few students who hold a special place in my heart. The real go-getters, the ambitious, those who try hard to annoy me. If you want this special distinction, read more about how you can be an over achiever below.
1. Ask questions that are answered in the syllabus. (Bonus if they have also been answered repeatedly in class.)
Now this is the hardest way to annoy me because you don’t even have to try. People naturally forget, get confused, and some syllabi are pretty long. It’s not like syllabi are electronic these days and a simple search could reveal your answer. However, most professors are used to this and we have a document with answers to various questions that we just copy/ paste from. This document is the syllabus. Basically, you will have to try harder to break us.
2. Skip class and then send an email asking if we did anything important.
Obviously we didn’t do anything important (that’s why it’s cool to just skip class). Or maybe we did everything important, the dichotomy of which is contained in the poem “Did I Miss Anything?” by Tom Wayman. Either way, it’s better to ask this in an email or the ten minutes between classes than to schedule a meeting, come to office hours, or ask people in class. To really stand out you have to demand a whole lesson plan recitation in minutes.
3. Ask for an extension because you have something more important to do.
This is a way to both annoy me and hurt my ego, so listen up if you are looking to be successful here. Asking for an extension alone won’t do it. You must follow up your request with a statement about how you need this extension because something else is more important—a chemistry test, a paper for your major, a project for your bio class. The implication is that the class you mention is more important than mine because you are choosing to do the work for that course over my own, but you get bonus points if you actually say that the other class or activity is more important: “I need an extension because I have an econ test tomorrow and it’s my major so it’s more/ very important.”
4. Ignore lectures and text instead.
Make sure not to politely leave class to text. Make sure not to let me know you have a legitimate reason to be on your phone. Act annoyed when we go “technology free” for a few moments in class. Turn up your sound. At the end of the semester, act confused when I don’t think you deserve an A for participation.
5. Don’t do the homework to make sure you can’t participate in class.
Look, you don’t want to ruin it all by being a good classroom citizen. If you do the homework, you can participate and that will thwart your goals; I’ll no longer be annoyed at you. Even if you did numbers 1-4, participating in class will destroy all your progress and I will no longer be annoyed at you, so keep this train chugging. Sit in the back of the class and do nothing or do something else (like text, see above). Distract your group or classmates. At the end of the semester, act confused when I don’t think you deserve an A for participation.
So now you know how to annoy your professor. There is no excuse not to try. And if you try hard and apply yourself, you could be a name I know at the end of the semester for very specific reasons.
Comment below if you’ve tried one of these strategies or know of another. Sharing knowledge is important.
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