How to Fall in Love with a Straight Woman

“How to Fall in Love with a Straight Woman” up at Slink Chunk Press.

Slink Chunk Press

by Heather Dorn

Close your eyes. You don’t have to try to think of her, she just appears, across the table in Composition Theory on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Try to get into her group. Sit at the outskirts quietly while a curtain of brown hair lets in the sun and then covers her face. Try not to make her mad, she gets mad and gorgeous easily.

Stalk her on MySpace. She loves Texas. You don’t. You can work through this. She loves Jesus. You really don’t. You can work through this. She likes “Men.” You are not men.

When she finds out you are the “H is for Hiding from Nuns” from the Internet blog, feel your face heat to boil as she talks of you to others in the group. “She’s so funny!” slamming her hand on the table. Smile and look down, because touching eyes is painful. Smile…

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