A Horrible Confession

I have a horrible confession to make: I don’t really care that much about Shark Week.

Now, I like sharks ok. I think they’re fine as people. I’d totally have a beer with a shark. If a shark was having a bad day, she could count on me to to send her the perfect eCard. I just don’t want to watch a show about one.

And I’m genuinely happy for people who like Shark Week. It makes me happy that people are interested in science and nature. I am too, just for some reason not sharks. If there were a cheetah week, I’d totally watch it. Bee Week, Dog Week, Strawberry Week, Evolution Week, Sound Week, Brain Week, Sex Week. I’d watch those weeks.

And if I were in a waiting room, I’d listen to Shark Week and be glad to have something nice to distract me. It’s not annoying to me like “How It Works.”* It’s just not my first or tenth choice.

I feel better now.

*I understand that “How It Works” is an educational show with merit. But I hate it. I hate it with a stabby hate. The kind of hate you get when you see the girl your ex slept with the night you broke up. The kind of hate that radiates behind your eye until it manifests as pain and your head is hit with a hammer repeatedly.

I don’t understand why I hate it but I think it has something to do with the mundane detailing of the processes. I don’t care how hockey pucks are made in the same way I don’t care about sharks. But with more of a passion for not caring.

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